Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
