; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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