Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize