So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
