i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
