dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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