Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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