Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
