I wish I could teleport
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
