I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
