the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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