That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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