It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
