I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
