He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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