Someone shit on the floor
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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