brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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