there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
