would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
