I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
