where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
