You really coming over, don't trick.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
