i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
