It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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