When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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