If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
