3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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