Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
