so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
