i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
