So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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