I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
