the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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