So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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