I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
