can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
