Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
