My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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