chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
