My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Will you blow on my dice?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
