hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
