does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
where are my eyebrows?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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