Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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