I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
