She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
