we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
