I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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