It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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