Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
