he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
high people should be assigned attendants
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
