if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
