You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
