Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
