Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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