I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
