Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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