i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
