ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
