Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
