ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
