I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
