YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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